As soon as you are pregnant the advice starts.
What to do for morning sickness, where to buy maternity clothes, how to hide your bump/show off your bump, what to buy/what not to buy, what to pack in your hospital bag, how to prepare for labour, what names are good/bad, what advice your should listen to and what not to!
As if being pregnant isn’t overwhelming enough!
So Birthzang did an entirely unscientific study (asked my Facebook network) what advice they would give to new mums in 10 words or less, to see if there were any recurring themes.
This blog post is the result of over 260 people offering tips and advice! There were certainly some key themes and the messages were very strong!
I am going to start by giving my own piece of advice that was given to me by my big sister when I had Babyzang1. She said,
“don’t take any notice of any advice!”
It was the best advice I have ever been given!
So to all new mums, just remember…
1. Trust Your Instincts
- Your child is unique, so are you, have fun!
- Do what’s right for YOU!! And it will naturally be right for YOUR family!
- You know your baby best.
- All babies are different.
- Arm yourself with knowledge, but trust your instincts.
2. Enjoy it!
- Enjoy your baby as much as you can
- Relax and don’t fret
- Don’t sweat the small stuff
- Enjoy and take loads of photo’s they change so quickly!
- Enjoy what your baby IS doing rather than what a book tells you they SHOULD be doing.
- Enjoy every moment you can. They grow up so fast
- Never, ever forget how lucky you are!
3. Don’t worry about…
- Other people’s opinions.
- The little things.
- What other people’s babies are doing.
- What other people are doing.
- What books say.
- Having fab hair.
4. Take care of yourself
- Look after yourself. If you are well and happy then everyone else will be too.
- Have a shower and get dressed every day – no baby came to harm from rying for 5 minutes.
- Eat whatever you fancy, when you are hungry.
- Encourage your partner to do their share.
- Make some time for yourself.
5. Sleep & Cuddles
- Good sleep=happy mummy and baby.
- Sleep when they sleep.
- You cannot spoil a baby with too many cuddles.
- Never listen to anyone who tells u u hold your baby too much!
- Sleep deprivation is so so hard but it doesn’t last.
- For first few months, do whatever works to get though the day (and night!).
- Have a routine, but be flexible.
- Don’t try to force your force my baby into a routine that doesn’t work for them.
- There is no rule book, just do your best!
- Do what works for you.
7. Advice & Help
- Listen to all the advice given but make your own decisions choose what to ignore and what to use.
- Take up every offer of help.
- Ask for help if you need it, this makes you a good mummy, not a bad one.
- Every baby is different so don’t compare or let people compare.
- Everyone has their own opinion and they believe they are right.
- There is no right answer.
- You’re not alone; We all feel tired and crap.
- Surround yourself with great friends and family to make it easier, and socialise as much as possible.
- Go with the flow. By this I mean, take each day as it comes, don’t compare yourself to other new mothers and don’t set yourself unrealistic expectations.
- We are all just making it up each day.
9. Practical Tips
- Don’t worry about the housework.
- Remove envelope neck vests downwards in event of poo explosion.
- There’s no such thing as too many wipes, or too many muslin squares.
- Get yourself a baby carrier/sling…. baby wearing is the way to sanity.
- Frozen meals are great.
- Buy yourself a thermal mug with lid. No cold cuppas and keeps hot for over an hour.
- Birth control
10. When you feel like a Terrible Mum just remember…
- You’re doing great.
- No one is perfect and your best is good enough!
- This, too, will pass.
- Its your baby do it your way.
- Your best is always good enough, life isn’t a competition.
- You will get through this!
- Your baby loves you no matter what.
- Just do what you need to do to get through.
- You will always be the best mum for your child.
- Try your best but your love is all they really need
- Believe in yourself and don’t be afraid to seek help.
What amazing words of wisdom we all have for each other. The sisterhood of being a mum is very strong and you can always find people to support you and remind you that you are a completely AWESOME mum! Go on, say it to yourself: I am an AWESOME mum!!!
If you feel that you need some extra support then come and join our Facebook Support Group for mums: any mum is welcome to join. We have regular coffee mornings in Reading and the one condition of membership is that we all offer each other 100% support and love.